My biggest communist novelty mistake was not realising Castro was in Hanoi the same day I was. Instead of having the joy of listening to the man ramble on for X amount of hours, I did the sights and the tomb of Ho Chi Minh. ‘Uncle’ Ho’s mausoleum was quiet, respectful and you had to dress neatly which was a huge comparison to Chairman Mao’s in Beijing which was just a free for all, tacky, especially at the end of it when you are assaulted by the street vendors, all within the grounds of his mausoleum. I still have to see Lenins, however I’m hoping Castro when he dies, must be soon-ish, gets embalmed and stuffed and put on public display. It’s not out of respect for Castro, rather some people collect snow-globes, I just want to have a full suite of dead embalmed Communist leaders. On a side-note I think using a jackhammer and breaking into Stalins concrete protected tomb would be too much, however if I was seriously drunk and I was one of those Russian oil-barons, I wouldn’t rule it out.

Mongoose R.I.P is the story of three of the missions where the Kennedy brothers are trying to kill Castro. In later editions it is billed as a Blackford Oakes book, but in this he has a secondary role, as Castro is the main character and it follows him as he tries to avoid being assassinated, how he positions Cuba in the eyes of the Russians and how to strike back at the main enemy i.e. the USA.

As this is an alternative history, Buckley uses the three (out of the 638) most publicised assassination attempts on Castro in the course of the book:

1) Wetsuit with toxins – This is an idea by the CIA/ OSS legend Wild Bill Donovan. In this Donovan comes across as a soldier who was very brave in combat, yet when it came to trying to remove Castro he came across like an excited schoolboy with impractical ideas.

2) The lover, Maria. After a year in Miami she returns to Cuba and tries to poison him by hiding pills in her cold cream. Another idea by Donovan. Good idea, but poorly executed and planned. On the first night this woman is back, she tries to poison him, however Castro security detail has already discovered the pills. Hindsight is great, but what should have happened was that she comes back, embeds herself with Castro for a few months and then the CIA slips her the pills. To try on your first night and to smuggle the pills in yourself is just stupid.

3) An old comrade of arms, Rolando Cubela, tries to shoot Castro. This attempt is the one where Blackford Oakes is involved in, as he supplies the rifle, the reward money and the co-ordination for a new provisional government. Cubela misses.

With his mistress trying to kill him and the disastrous Bay of Pigs invasion a few years before, Castro plans a revenge on America and Kennedy. This revenge is helped by the discovery that a missile was left hidden behind by the Russians after the missile crises, which the Russians ‘forgot’ to tell the Cubans about. Castro also has problems with the USSR as he feels his country is not being respected enough by the Russians, so he plans to hurt the Russians and the Americans at the same time as he will launch a nuclear missile at the Americans and blame it on the Russians. For this to work, Castro needs a Russian missile specialist to defect and the best way is through the specialists family, however these are all held ‘hostage’ in Russia awaiting for their non-defecting husbands to return from overseas. Castro starts dropping hints on how much he respects the Chinese, and in Khrushchev’s fury/appeasement he invites Castro to the May Day celebrations in Moscow, thus giving Castro the opportunity to carry out his plan.

Blackford Oakes is now in Cuba. Blackford like the James Bond from the book Casino Royale, is unlucky in love and his life as an agent comes across like Bonds as very bleak with a deep sense of loneliness. Events control Blackford and Bond rather than being the cause of events. In Casino Royale, the woman Bonds loves is a traitor and kills herself, in this book, Oakes longtime lover runs away and marries a man, who in a surprising coincidence gets killed as he and Blackford plan Cubela’s attempt.

A disillusioned young man enters the scene and approaches the Cubans and says he will kill Kennedy from the book depository in Dallas. The Cubans give him unofficial support and plan, as backup, to drop the bomb on Dallas if the man misses. Either way Kennedy is dead, but does he take Dallas with him? Eventually Blackford has to make the choice between the president he deeply cares for and the people of Dallas.

This book also touches on the Cuban revolution that Castro led and how he promised Cubans free democratic elections when they overthrew Batista. However, in the end Castro, like most dictators, created a cult of himself and destroyed his country. The only difference between dictators and politicians is that dictators kill the population, where politicians ruin the population. Normally I would write about US politics, the corruption of all politicians, but I thought this time I should write sweeping statements and make Spanish stereotypes.

The Spanish and thus their colonies, have never had true freedom of expression of the people. They have always been dominated by their Royal family, by the State or by the doctrine of religion. Other lands imported new ideas, new thoughts and expanded upon them where the Spanish seem to conform to whoever is in charge. Some countries have had reformations which drastically change the way the people act and think, where the Spanish had an Inquisition that consolidated the power of the Church. (Spain, as we know it, never became democratic till the very late 1970′s and in 1981 there was still a coup attempt.) This culture of repression or dominance is in the Spaniards soul (even now they have problems defining what is Spain and what should be autonomous), creates an environment which allows Caudillos to take root and flourish. With that in mind, transfer the above broad sweeping statements to Cuba, which was a Spanish colony, and in steps Castro the only* modern day Caudillo – charismatic, civil war winner and disciplinarian with his brand of Communism – Impossibilism, with a Cuban flavour.

To legitimise a true caudillo, you need to have an event where against all odds he wins and shows his total command, not just of his forces but also hints at spiritualism where an unseen greater force is helping. And what better for Castro to exploit than the shameful Bay of Pigs episode.

Mongoose R.I.P hints at Castro’s spiritual luck, as he has premonitions of danger and thus takes step to avoid it and his people are left in awe of his gift. In the book compared to Castro, Kennedy and Khrushchev are seen as weak unintelligent leaders, Kennedy is seen as a girl-banging, childish thinking president, where Khrushchev is seen as a vain old man. The author, Buckley seems not to have a love-hate relationship with Castro, but rather a bitter love-spurned relationship as on the love side he seems to respect Castro and builds up his intelligence above his own president, and he supports the ideals of the revolution but Castro’s refusal to enact the polices that he fought for and the steady elimination of all his rivals allows Buckley to demonise Castro at the same time.

And a very small last point, the bad guys i.e the Cubans drink coke and the Americans drink pepsi.

William F Buckley Jr had a supremely gifted intellect, and some of his other non-fiction writings are superb, where this book is well written, very good storyline and the nice use of alternative history, yet there is something missing which stops the reader being fully engrossed in the book. In simple terms I wouldn’t miss my stop on the train, as I have done with other books, as the book doesn’t make you exclude all else going on around you. Anyway, very good book, well worth a read.

* Chavez and the rest don’t count. The only other man that could be called a caudillo, even though he is not latin would be Gaddafi.